Question: "Why do you say to do all of this in our own heads, wouldn't it be better to let other people help us?
It does not matter to me how individuals choose to go about their personal change, I only speak of what worked best for myself and I will elaborate on that.
For myself, I found that the minute I talked to someone about my efforts to change, it was like the universe heard me and threw every possible roadblock it could at me, including a ton of unwanted influence from my fellow humans.
Everybody had an opinion and most of them were trying to keep me where I was.
I decided that trying to use my friends and family as sounding boards was counterproductive to what my goals were.
Believe me, I made note of who was who and acted accordingly towards them.
I cannot really blame my family as an example for their opinions because they were all based on how I always was before.
It is called familial roles in family dynamics which means there is nothing necessarily malicious about it because it is our own behavior that puts us in those roles, and it becomes the norm.
These roles branch out into our circle of friends as well and even influence society as a whole, like having a criminal record can limit our opportunities.
Moving forward I just kept my mouth shut and did the work because I found no support from those closest to me because they had heard it all before.
I want to stress that the reason this came to be, is, was and always will be entirely my own doing by my past behavior.
I finally came to the conclusion that since I would not trust me as far as I could throw me, I could hardly expect others to now, could I?
20 years ago, I was telling people that if they do need a sounding board make it an objective observer like a qualified psychologist, but I do not trust the people professing to be psychologists now days.
The field has been infiltrated and corrupted in order to push a political agenda as well as creating permanent patients.
Also, psychiatrists and psychologists don't seem to like me very much.
In the end, it all comes down to who we are willing to trust, and how much we trust them.
Personally, (and I am kidding of course) I do not trust anyone I am not close enough to kill.
The point is there is no one way to go about changing ourselves, there are no deadlines other than those we set ourselves, we all do what works for us.