Bullying: The Consequences of Moving the Goal Posts

(Opinion) For educational and informational purposes only

Let's dive right in with something pretty straightforward: not all childhood bullying is pure poison. Back in the day, a lot of folks (psychologists, parents, even early researchers like Olweus) saw the milder stuff—the playground push-and-shove, the name-calling, the testing limits—as a weird yet necessary kind of training ground. Freud called aggression this raw drive kids have to work through; Jung saw it as shadow energy that, when you face it head-on, helps you become a whole person. So, pre-1990s/2000s, the common take was: yeah, some of this teaches you how to handle jerks, set boundaries, de-escalate, and build the guts to stand up. Have you ever had that moment in school where you finally pushed back and the bully backed off?

Felt good, right? Built confidence. What do you remember from your own experiences—was it mostly bad, or did some of it actually toughen you up?

Then the seismic shift hit. I watched it happen firsthand as I had kids in public school at the time. In the late '90s, post-Columbine panic, zero-tolerance policies everywhere, and by DSM-5 in 2013, the goal posts had moved way back. Now, almost any conflict gets slapped with the "bullying" label. Good intentions—protect the kids from real harm, right? But the result? Kids lost chances to handle stuff themselves. Everything went through adults or rules. No more low-stakes practice at standing their ground, no more earning that inner strength from winning (or even losing honorably). Instead, it's "report it, don't fight back." We essentially robbed them of the ability to learn these valuable and necessary skills as children so that they can apply them as adults to lead a stable life. Ever notice how many young adults today freak out over a single mean comment or disagreement? Like they never got the reps in dealing with negative input. What are you seeing out there when you watch and listen to the younger generations today? Are you seeing and hearing stable, well-adjusted adults, or are you seeing adults behaving like children who cannot understand or, by default, control their emotions?

Be honest!

Consider how this has unfolded in everyday life over at least two generations. On college campuses, we see "safe spaces" and trigger warnings for everything from classic literature to guest speakers. The realization? Kids who grew up without facing minor confrontations now seek protection from ideas that make them uncomfortable, shutting down debates instead of engaging. In workplaces, entry-level employees struggle with constructive feedback, quitting at the first sign of stress simply because they weren't taught to persevere.

Remember those viral stories of Gen Z workers ghosting interviews or requesting "mental health days" for minor setbacks? That's the (engineered?) fragility showing—lacking the tools to stand firm, they either retreat or complain. Have you noticed this at your job or with family? Ever had that moment of realization where you think, "We used to just deal with it and grow from it"? "Get over it and move on." What changed?

Now, weave in the competition killer—that "everybody gets a trophy" vibe that rolled in around the same time. No more winners and losers in sports or school contests; everyone's a star just for showing up. Sounds nice, but it breeds entitlement: "I deserve this without earning it." Real-world example? Look at youth sports leagues where scores aren't kept, or schools ditching honor rolls to avoid "hurt feelings." Kids grow up thinking life's fair without effort, then hit adulthood, and pitch fits when they don't get the promotion or the raise. Example: That job applicant who sues for "discrimination" because they weren't hired, instead of leveling up their skills. Or the entitlement in relationships—demanding everything on their terms without compromise, leading to higher breakup rates or loneliness epidemics. Do you see this around you? Like, "Why work for it when I should just get it?"

And don't get me started on parenting—now discipline's often called "bullying" or abuse. Spanking? Time-outs? Even stern talks? Labeled toxic, with social services knocking if someone reports it. Parents walk on eggshells, raising kids without boundaries. Example: Those "gentle parenting" trends where "no" is avoided, leading to toddlers ruling the house—and later, adults who can't handle rejection. Example: The grocery store meltdown where a kid screams for candy, and the parent caves because of "trauma." Fast-forward: That same kid as a 25-year-old raging online over a canceled order. Together with no competition and no conflict practice? It's a recipe for weakness—entitled, unresilient, zero accountability.

And self-esteem? Man, that's the gut punch. Healthy self-esteem isn't handed out—it's earned. You stand up to a bully, they back down, peers look at you differently, and you feel "I can handle this." Boom, competence, worth, the works. But in a system that punishes every attempt to assert yourself? Every push-up gets you shoved back down. "Don't be disruptive." "You're both in trouble." Defenders get labeled the bad guys now. How do you build a strong sense of self when the game is rigged against you? It crushes the spirit, leaves people feeling helpless, and primes them to just... comply. What if that's why so many folks today fold under pressure instead of pushing back?

Now we layer on our public education system. The Prussian model—straight-up built for obedience in the 1800s—gets imported here by Horace Mann. Link HERE.

The Prussian Model in education was conceived in response to Prussia’s crushing defeat by Napoleon at the Battle of Jena-Auerstedt in 1806. This historic loss exposed the need for a system that instilled discipline, loyalty, and compliance, key traits deemed necessary to strengthen the state and military. As a result, Prussia crafted an educational structure aimed at indoctrinating children from a young age, engendering unwavering obedience to authority and the state. This rigid, hierarchical system ensured a steady supply of law-abiding citizens and soldiers who would unquestioningly follow orders, a trait starkly illustrated by later historical events.

Rigid bells, rows of desks, follow orders, don't question. Modern critiques nail it: it's about creating compliant workers and citizens, not free thinkers. We can dive deeper later, but look at the results: kids struggling with basics, but drilled on conformity. Tie that to the bullying shift, and you've got a double whammy—compliance from the classroom, no room to stand up in the hallways. Ever wonder why critical thinking feels so rare these days? Maybe it is because the whole system is designed to teach children what to think instead of how to think? Sounds like a system designed to create an unaware and compliant population, does it not?

Oh, and check this out just to stir in a little more flavor—there's that 2016 Podesta email from Bill Ivey: elites basically admitting they've been okay with demeaning government and skipping civics to keep people "unaware and compliant." Unawareness stuck, but compliance's fading. Interesting, huh? Coincidence? Or part of the pattern? You tell me.

And as I've mentioned, we've all been quite content to demean government, drop civics and in general conspire to produce an unaware and compliant citizenry. The unawareness remains strong but compliance is obviously fading rapidly. This problem demands some serious, serious thinking - and not just poll driven, demographically-inspired messaging.

So the chain ends up here: fragile, unaware, compliant adults who react like toddlers—quick to submit, slow to stand firm—because they never learned otherwise. Insecure bullies back down when challenged; the deeper pathological ones escalate. The system blurs the line, punishes everyone, and kills the incentive to be the hero who stands up. Bullying stats haven't skyrocketed; it's the perception that did because we redefined everything. Result? A population is easy to steer with social pressure or fear of being "mean." Governments, institutions—they love that. What if this is fertile ground for the ultimate bullies?

My fix? Dead simple: do the opposite. Flip back to meritocracy—reward effort, courage, real wins. Bring back spaces where kids earn self-esteem by handling real challenges instead of hiding from them. Classical schools with debates, homeschooling with freedom, and Montessori for self-direction. Imagine celebrating the kid who stands up instead of suspending them. Sounds like a way to break the cycle? Also sounds a lot like commonsense, does it not?

Personally, I believe this entire chain is a clear attempt at deliberate manipulation, designed to make people easier to control. However, my opinion isn't what's important. Whether intentional or not, the outcomes are identical: emotional immaturity, susceptibility to manipulation, and a drift toward dependency. We can postpone the blame game, but our children and grandchildren can't wait. If we don't change this now, future generations might become too compliant to resist the state. They could end up as de facto slaves. This has been the goal of every tyrant throughout history, so you'd think we would have learned our lesson by now, wouldn't you?

Look at where moving those goal posts on bullying has gotten us? We have at least two generations of our population who do not know how to stand up for themselves, think they are entitled to everything just because they are alive, and have zero self-accountability. If they do not get what they want, they pitch a fit like a child instead of working through it and moving on like an adult. Why? because that is what they still are mentally, children who were never taught how to grow up and be their own person. I call that an "unaware and compliant" population; how about you?

You can call bullshit on the whole thing, tell me I'm paranoid—go ahead. I am just telling you what I see. All I ask is that you sit with it for a minute: Consider this, what if I'm right? What if millions of us seeing the same pattern are actually onto something?

That is something worth considering, is it not?